I'm sure the title looks like I'm not a fan of cancer... which I'm not. But it's actually referring to a book I'm reading by Kyle Idleman entitled Not a Fan.
Facing something like cancer makes you look at things differently. Do I really believe what I say I believe about God? Is my faith real? I can honestly say I've probably lived as a fan of God for most of my life. I grew up in a Christian home, went to church every time the doors were open, and even went to Bible College. I know a lot ABOUT God, but now I'm working on my relationship WITH God.
I said before I've played the "What If" game, but I haven't really asked "Why me?" I don't feel like God did this to me or is punishing me. We're not in the Garden of Eden anymore...there is death, sickness, and all kinds of yucky stuff in the world now. How I deal with it can speak volumes.
After doing a Bible study last fall called Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby, I've been more deliberate in praying how God can use me. Well, if I'm praying that God will use me for His glory and praying that my kids will know God in a real way, then I better be ready!!! If cancer is how God can use me, then let's go! If trials bring us closer as a family, then let's go! If hardships cause us to depend on God, then let's go!
My name is Terri Williams... and I am not a fan!
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~ Ephesians 3:20-21