Faithful... Loyal... Steadfast...

Two years ago we left a vocational ministry and re-entered the "real" world. It's been a strange but good adjustment. Hubby is working full-time, and I'm blessed to be back at home after nine years of being a working mom while the kids were still in school - whew! Now we have an empty nest (which is kind of a neat thing), but I'm trying to figure out what exactly I should be doing with my time. 

Hubby jokes that I'm retired and loves me being home, and I love taking care of things around the house. My grown daughter is glad I'm home so she can come over during her lunch hour, for supper and movie nights, or to do laundry. The college kids appreciate that I'm available when they need something... like money... It's nice to be able to go visit our married daughter's sweet little family (yay for grandkids). And I'm sure the dog is thrilled to have me let him out and back in all day long.

I enjoy working in the yard and trying to grow food, creating things for my Etsy shop, and having time for the endless list of projects. But since the stupid virus, I feel a little bit like a hermit. I miss my friends at Bible study, miss meeting someone for coffee, and even miss smiling at people so they can actually see it. I'm home almost all the time now... and may or may not talk to myself more than I should - HA!

So with all this time, I can do a lot of thinking and asking myself questions. Should I be doing more of something? How do I make an impact on people when I'm not around people? Will God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant" if I'm not out serving? Is the guilt I'm feeling really from Satan to make me doubt this season of quiet? 

When I was going through cancer, I had such clarity on how God was working. I felt like I had relevant things to share with people. I felt like I had a purpose... a responsibility to show my family and friends and others going through cancer that God is still good even in the bad. That spiritual and eternal healing is so much more important than physical healing. As weird as it sounds, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. 

But what about during this season of quiet? 

In a Bible study video by proverbs31.org, I heard the following: "Our identity is not in what we do but in what God has already done!" I needed that today! Especially in a season when a "job" isn't defining me. I'm not working at a Christian college, a student ministry, or a children's home anymore. I'm not a stay-at-home mom raising and homeschooling my kids. 

Christine Caine says that if God has assigned you, He will find you. So be faithful... be loyal... be steadfast... WHERE YOU ARE!  

How does that look for me right now? I'm trying to be faithful in praying for others - which is definitely a work in progress. I'm trying to be loyal in studying God's word - which takes some discipline without face-to-face accountability. I'm trying to be steadfast in loving and encouraging my family - which is hard to know how to do when the kids are away from the nest. 

So while I'm waiting on a specific assignment, I will "be still and know" in this season of quiet. I will recognize that my identity is not because of anything I do or a job that I have. I will be faithful... I will be loyal... and I will be steadfast right where I am!

Hit the Reset Button

I don't know about you, but I'm so ready for a reset! 12 weeks of "rona" life still has me in a state of mild chaos. It's no where near 40 years in the desert, but I feel like I've been wandering and am a bit purposeless. For the 2 1/2 months of the year before life got turned upside down, I was working hard to get things into a nice routine. And I was actually getting my act together and making the most of my days. Then the virus...

Hubby set up his "office" at the kitchen table to work from home... College daughter was home to finish the semester on-line and couldn't even clean out her dorm room until a couple of weeks ago... High school son lost his job and was home all day every day...

We were all home, and I was having a hard time with MY routine. My daily "chores" and yoga became hit and miss - or even non-existent. Our budget was (and still is) a hot mess. The work I was doing to promote my Etsy shop and figure out how to best use social media is still on vacation mode. My Bible study (which was also my social life) was canceled! And it's very hard to mop floors with people always around - ha!

While I was usually coordinating one car for two working people (husband and son), we all of a sudden had two vehicles (with daughter home) and no one was going anywhere! Such a weird predicament!

Our high school son finished on-line high school in a very anti-climatic way - he submitted his last final and that was it! We couldn't even celebrate with dinner at his favorite restaurant. No open house... no party... And the summer event that he'd been looking forward to was canceled.

It's kind of ironic that we noticed the other day this calendar on the refrigerator to keep track of our son's work schedule. In some ways it's like time stood still once the virus hit and he was laid off. March almost seems like forever ago.

But today, I finally hit the reset button. Hubby's back at the office, and I actually did my AND mopped the floor! It's a small but important step to get me back on track! Thankfully, each day is a chance to reset and start again!

The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. 

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 

Lamentations 3:22-23 NLT

There's No Place Like Home

If you know me at all, you know I'm a homebody. So a Stay at Home order and Social Distancing are actually comforting during this crazy Coronavirus pandemic. However, it's weird knowing we can't just go and do whatever we want whenever we want. I just want to go shop for pansies and gardening supplies!

Although it's a super crazy time, I've been mostly worry free. Maybe I'm in denial... or maybe it's because I've seen God bring us through so many other tough situations - raising kids (am I right!), homeschooling, lay-offs, job changes, moves, floods, health issues (um, cancer), etc. You know, LIFE! Here is one of my LIFE verses:

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. - Jeremiah 17:7

While I'm not worried, I am concerned. Concerned for my girls - two with a history of pneumonia and one with a history of asthma... for my grandkids who are only 2 months old and 2 years old... for my father-in-law who has health issues... for friends who have lost their jobs. I'm sad for my high school senior son who got laid off from his good part-time job (thankfully his school was already on-line)... for my college girl who is now home to finish the semester on-line and missing her friends and all her belongings. I'm a little anxious for my husband - who hates change - and is now working from home and is a little anxious about the future of his job. I'm wondering about my mom and sister who are in other cities hunkered down alone... and wondering what's going to happen to my neighbors, country, and world.

I'm counting my blessings that I'm not in the middle of chemo during this pandemic. I just had lab work done and a visit with my new oncologist a month ago, and everything looks good. I'm probably just as healthy as anyone, but my family isn't letting me take any chances. Except for gas station stops on our trip to see our adorable new grandson before quarantine and a drive-thru run to Chick-fil-A, I haven't been out for almost four weeks! Hubby and Jarod are doing all the grocery shopping and TP scrounging!

So what am I doing during our sudden family togetherness? Pretty much the same as always only trying to make sure everyone else is doing okay! I'm taking advantage of free on-line lectures and Bible studies, enjoying all the music that artists are posting, working on some crochet, doing yoga, and trying to strategically run the vacuum so I don't interrupt anyone's school or work - ha! I'm taking my Vitamin D and getting natural Vitamin D when the weather cooperates. The yard and garden are calling me, but so are my coffee and puzzles!

With all of us home all day every day, I'm intentionally focusing on my attitude:

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

I'm also trying to stay informed about the virus and sift through everyone's "expert" opinion and advice. I'm trying to understand the power of the government - federal and state - to basically shut down our country and then watch them fight as they all claim to have the best way to help we-the-people. Honestly, I'm not sure what to think. I want everyone to be safe and healthy, but it's a bit scary at how fast and how limiting the government can act. My next free lecture might need to be on the Constitution...

I don't have any answers... so I'm praying.

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O LORD; you surround them with your shield of love. - Psalm 5:11-12

May He be glorified! I'm glad we're all in this together. And when we get through this, we'll have another testimony of God's incredible provision. For now...