Sunday, November 23, 2014

Where's My Trust?

I’m learning that even though cancer treatment is finished, the journey is still filled with new adventures. Although I’m tired of the 70 mile drive to Tulsa for appointments - especially my every-six-week port flush - it’s a great opportunity to think, worship, and pray. I was even thinking about what to post next on my blog. I’m sure God was smiling laughing knowing what was ahead.

As I was waiting for the nurse to come flush my port, I wondered why she was on the phone and looking up something on the computer. It was just a port flush... no doctor visit, no lab orders... so what was the confusion???

She finished on the phone and started setting up for the flush then said, “Did you know that Dr. McHam is gone?” WHAT! “He moved to Nebraska.” WHAT!! “Who moves to Nebraska in the winter?” WHAT!!!

I was totally stunned. I had just seen him last month to get my biopsy results. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t receive a letter or any kind of notice. I felt a little bit betrayed and abandoned. I even had to fight back tears. We just had a typical doctor/patient relationship, but he was my CANCER doctor!

On the bright side, I’m finished with treatment. 

But still...

And his Nurse Practitioner is still there. I see her every-other visit, and I like her. 

But still...

I was totally caught off guard by the news that my doctor was gone... and also caught off guard by how it affected me.

Here’s where I think God was smiling laughing. I started making the connection with how my reaction showed where I seemed to have placed my trust. Yes, I need to have confidence in my doctor and trust his treatment plan. But... he’s just a person. And we all know that people fail and disappoint. I will have another doctor. And who knows, he may be even better!

Ultimately, where am I placing my trust? I choose to trust in God my Savior! In fact, on the drive to my appointment, I caught the words to Christ Alone, Cornerstone:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly TRUST in Jesus' Name

And then the following morning my daughter posted this verse on Facebook:

Those who know your name will TRUST in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
~Psalm 9:10

Doctors move, people fail and disappoint... even betray and abandon, but God NEVER forsakes those who seek Him. AMEN!

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