Just six months ago we were nervous about all the "firsts" we were experiencing - diagnosis of lymphoma, appointments, scans, chemo, side-effects. This week I'm thinking about the "lasts" of some of those experiences.
The last R-CHOP chemo treatment - Aloxi, Decadron, Benadryl (knocks me out), Adriamycin (makes me pee red), Vincristine (neuralgia), Cytoxan, and Rituxan (made from mouse components).
The last time trying to maneuver the IV with me to the bathroom while being doped up on Benadryl. I saw a neat video of a chemo patient riding the IV across the room, but I would've ended up on the floor if I had tried that!
The last of tummy issues - tummy ache, bloating, gas, burping (like you wouldn't believe), constipation.
The last dose of Prednisone and the nasty, nasty taste it leaves in my mouth. Did I mention the nasty taste???
The last of feeling drained - looking forward to more energy and motivation.
The last of losing eyelashes - mascara only does so much.
The last of not shaving - oh wait, I don't want that to change!
The last of being bald. Even though I probably dreaded this the most, it has turned out to be kind of fun. I like my sassy wig that is soooo easy to maintain. I'm also a pro at tying a cute bandana on my head. And I can take a shower in 59 seconds! (Yes, the kids timed me one night.)
I don't think my hair would've completely fallen out since I always shaved some stubble, but it definitely showed signs of thinning. I'm glad we shaved it all off and had some fun. It cracks me up that my blog post about shaving my head is the most visited post (here)!
One side-effect I want to keep is the chemo-induced menopause I seem to be experiencing. I sure don't want to go through these hot flashes again down the road. Usually I look at my age as on the young side, but I hope I'm old enough that this will be permanent!
Although I won't miss these "lasts" - in all reality, they haven't been that bad. One of my constant phrases through all of this has been, it's all good because I'M NOT PUKING! I've been able to work every day that I haven't had appointments. I've been able to do the necessities for my family (thanks to Daryl being the chef). I've pretty much been able to live life as usual. I am the first to admit I am truly blessed - even if some the blessings have been in disguise!!!
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
~ Laura Story, "Blessings"